I think sometimes we forget to remember. Lessons we’ve learned, situations we’ve walked through, how tiny details of life have unfolded, and the sweetness of opportunities we’ve been given. These things seem to drift away from our memory the more time that passes and we hardly ever pause to simply remember.
I found out that the first Athletic Director I worked for in 2009-2010 recently passed away; I haven’t thought about him or the life-changing things that took place while I was at Hearne in quite some time. I had prayed for months for a teaching job; specifically, I desired to teach elementary school and coach high school, which hardly ever happens. I was fresh out of college and would have probably taken any job that was offered to me since I didn’t major in Education and was certified alternatively for teaching. I went on countless interviews, leaving each place knowing that it wasn’t a good fit.
I had initially decided I wanted to re-locate from College Station, but I finally decided to apply in Hearne based on the fact that my close friend Shelly worked there and I could ease my way into a teaching career alongside a familiar face. I interviewed and was offered a K-6 teaching job; I decided I would put my dream of coaching on hold and take the job because it felt like a good fit.
I received a phone call from Coach Lymas a few weeks after accepting the job; he wanted to know if I was still interested in coaching and if I would be willing to coach high school. I still remember the disbelief that I felt; I had literally gone searching for hundreds of miles across Texas for this exact job, and it was offered to me through someone calling and seeking me out, instead of the other way around. I remember the nerves when I went to his office for a formal interview and how they were quieted by his welcoming spirit; he offered me the job, then told me to thicken my skin and I’d survive just fine.
I haven’t thought about the process of finding that first job in a long time. I have forgotten to remember that the tiny details of so many things overlapped in order for me to be given the exact desire of my heart during that time in my life.
This week, Thomas and I have been looking for a place to call home. We seriously should have recorded it and made our own house hunters of Cambodia because it was quite ridiculous at some points; we had a certain budget and hope in mind, which was shattered the first day we went searching. Too white and insane asylum-ish, too small and cracker box-ish, and then there were just the not home-ish feeling ones.
I felt myself becoming more and more doubtful at each place we looked. Are we really supposed to be here? Can we really make this country feel like a home? I tried to hide it the best that I could since our sweet friend Sithan was guiding us around, but, well you guys know me and that I’m just not that great at hiding how I feel. I told her that nothing felt like home and I was sorry I was difficult; she simply smiled and said “we’ll keep looking, we will find one”.
During a jet-lagged night of no sleep, I found myself in tears. I explained to Thomas that the desire of my heart felt like it was in direct opposition to reality. I felt like I was being too picky and that I was ungrateful and selfish because nothing we had found put me at peace. It is tricky to navigate the life of support-raised ministry; there is a narrow line to walk of being a good steward and making choices that will keep us emotionally and spiritually healthy. It’s a learning process; one in which we appreciate your grace and confidence.
Our deepest desire in finding a place to live is that it would be a home; a place where people will feel free to be themselves, to gather for meals and conversation, to be re-charged, but mostly a place where anyone can come to feel welcome and be loved.
During this entire process, I forgot to remember. I forgot to remember that we have countless people praying for this specific search; that the Lord has called us here for this specific time and has laid these specific desires on our hearts regarding a home.
One of the things about apartment hunting is that it is best to just drive around and try to find a place on your own; realtors up-charge the monthly rent if they locate a property for you. It is definitely more work and frustrating, but it’s do-able if you allow yourself some time.
I had been scouring through online rentals and found a place that I really wanted to see; they don’t put the names or location so you can’t locate it on your own. So, I had a picture and a price, but no name or address; in a city of 2 million people and a ridiculous amount of housing locations, you can see why this would be a problem.
We showed the picture to a few tuk tuk drivers and asked around about it, but no one seemed to know where it was located. The day we took a break from searching, an ad for an apartment complex popped up on my Facebook newsfeed (this was after we had submitted this specific prayer request to a prayer list). Can you guess which apartment it was? You got it! The one that we only had a picture of the front entrance!
We now had the name of it and the location of it. It was the last place we visited yesterday and it immediately felt like a place we could call home. The craziest thing of all is that the bedroom furniture actually looks like our first home. Sometimes, I forget to remember the faithfulness and consistency of the Lord, but He gladly reminds me. After 2 full days of searching and 30+ houses later, we have a winner!
Our bedroom in Waco
Our new bedroom
Interesting, huh? 🙂
I think that maybe, just maybe, God knows my shortcomings and yet still is faithful.
Through it all: a move to another country, adjusting to a new city and way of life, and silly little things like bedroom suites that match our former home. Even when I doubt and choose not to see it, He is still good.
PS Thank you for prayers during this transition. We have and are continuing to feel them, truly. I have only cried about 3 times, which is pretty good I think! And then there’s Thomas, so gentle and patient with me during my emotional roller coasters. So thankful to walk this journey alongside him and all of you.